Crazy little thing called Meth

Today I went to the Birmingham Wal-Mart. The idea was to buy Polly Pockets for the girls so that they could amuse themselves in my grandmother's apartment without torturing the cats (my sister thinks torturing the cats is wrong).

Everything down here is blooming and my allergies have been giving me a huge headache. 12-hour sudafed usually does the trick so I thought I would buy some at the Walmart pharmacy. I have bought enough sudafed lately to know that you can't just buy it off the shelf - it is no long "over the counter" because it is a main ingredient for methamphetamine - whatever the hell that is. I mean I watch tv, I know it's a drug, but what the hell does it do and why is it so popular with soccor moms?

I went to the pharmacy and asked her for a box. They didn't have the 12 hour version, and I had to practically torture the pharmacy clerk to get her to admit that in fact they did have the 24 hour formula. A box of 10 pills. And I couldn't just buy it like that.

First I needed to hand over, not show, my driver's license.

Then I needed to wait while she did some kind of background check to make sure that I haven't bought sudafed from them lately.

Then I needed to sign a form acknowledging that I was buying, gulp, sudafed, a controlled substance.

Next thing you know, there will be finger-printing and a cavity search involved. Maybe I should start thinking about allergy shots...